Let's redefine what it means to heal

Hey guys!
Once again, apologies for my lack of posting. I've been to the Drs multiple times, the opticians and the hospital and its still a bit of a mystery as to what is wrong with me- but I'm on some medication that seems to be starting to work so fingers crossed! (If you're wondering what on earth I'm going on about, read my previous blog post!)
Anyway, I figured it wouldn't hurt my head too much to spend 10 minutes on my macbook and I wanted to post something about my trip to London last week.

If any of you remember, I had a bit of a battle trying to buy tickets for Alexisonfire's farewell tour (MASSIVE SOB!) Thankfully, my friend and I managed to get some so after counting down the days, it was finally time to see Alexisonfire for one last time!

We set off for London a bit earlier so we could go to Camden (she had never been before :O!) and so we could go to a Shisha bar (again- something she had never experienced.) I'm always so massively relaxed around Camden, and it's a shame we had to head off after a couple of hours as we were going to meet some friends back at the train station.
Before the gig, we all went for a few drinks in an insanely busy pub in Brixton...and before I knew it was time to make our way to Brixton Academy just in time for Alexisonfire!!
I've been to a fair few gigs, but this was in a league of it's own. The band played amazingly- but the atmosphere was just unbelievable. This probably had a lot to do with it being their final gig in the UK (and basically in the world ever) so the energy was just out of this world and it's just one of those moments where I was just stood there thinking 'I really am just happy to be here!'

Now for a few photos!

I only took a couple of photos at the gig- too busy living in the moment to bother with a camera, hence the crappiness of these photos!
Unfortunately we missed the last train back...so it was a bit of a mission getting home, involving a bus journey, a taxi and dragging my mum out of bed at 2.30am to pick us up (what an angel!) and by which point my head was absolute agony but OH WELL!
I wish I could relive this night over and over.

Just listen to the audience....wow!!

Until next time- BYEEEEEE X

Watercolour

I was just browsing through my old files and came across some more pieces of writing, so I thought I'd select one of the less depressing pieces and post it here.
Comments would, as always, be appreciated. But be kind...i'm pretty sure this is about 3/4 years old and I've not bothered to edit it at all!

How much longer are you gonna give in to the fear?

Last night marked the 3rd time I have seen Evanescence live! They played at Wembley Arena so we got to the venue at about 2.30. We just about made it to the front barrier, but quite far to the left- it was actually really nice to be on the side that Tim and Troy play on, the previous times I've been more towards Terry and Amy's keyboard so it made a nice change. Thankfully the view was still pretty good, and the sound was immaculate!
I'm kind of lost for words on what to say. There were tears (on my behalf, of course) and confetti, lots of singing and screaming. I had a migraine (i'm still trying to shake it off- it's been lurking since wednesday night and I can't say I'm loving it,) which did kind of dampen the experience because bright lights are not my friend at the moment, but there was no way in hell I was going to miss their last live show for this album!
The set list was incredible, and they added 'Disappear' and 'Swimming Home,' and I love 'Disappear' so that made the throbbing migraine entirely worth it.

I wish I had pictures and videos to share, but I'm 'that' person who's too busy trying to live in the moment rather than worrying about the pictures and what not. So, I'll have to steal a couple of my friend's photos.

Confetti during My Immortal <3 

Words fail me when it comes to seeing Evanescence live...they've been my favourite band for nearly 10 years and they've played such a massive, important part in my life and growing up. I hate that there's probably going to be another 4/5 year wait for another album to be released (if they release another one, that is) so that's a reality I'm just not ready to face yet.

There are very few videos of last night on youtube at the moment, but I'll leave you with this. 

Going Under...the first single I ever bought :') 

(As a side note, there were some people up in the seated area who were throwing some amazing shapes. Bit of ballroom dancing, the robot...especially the 2 older men, absolutely loved it!) 

Have to find a way to be the best of me.

Sometimes, you just have to let the music speak for itself. 

I love this.

For more about The Glass Child, check out this blog post. 

Lullaby

Just wrap me up in chains

I'm wearing shade '400- Lights Out' Rimmel Lasting Finish. 

As you can see, my black lipstick arrived! I was just about to leave the house to walk to work when the postie turned up on this, so I took the risk of turning up to work looking horrendous and decided to try it out anyway! It was pure luck that I decided to go for very light eye make up! I already feel a little bit 'Shakespears Sister' with it on so heavy eye make up would have just about topped it off. 

I'm still undecided if I like it enough for it to become a staple along with bright red. What do you think? Is it okay for day wear or just too over the top? (I'm also a little worried about how it looks when I actually talk...I can imagine it being a little off putting to anyone who I'm having a conversation with!) 

I have so much love for this song, but it makes me feel so depressed! My sister always used to play it when I was younger because she knew it made me cry, and that seemed to amuse her. Odd. 

Clown in the Moon

Cause I'm a gamblin' Boogie Man, although I don't play fair

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

Halloween is, hands down, my favourite time of the year. Unfortunately, I keep being told that I'm too old to go trick-or-treating and I always seem to be working on halloween/the day after so it's been pretty dull for me the past couple of years. 

Having said that, a movie night is on the cards so I'm looking forward to celebrating in my own little way. 

I started to get into the halloween spirit on Monday night when I went to my friend's house to carve some pumpkins! 

I was reminded of 2 things; 1) Pumpkins smell vile, and 2) I am lethal with a knife. 

Here's a couple of photos from Monday :) 

Just trying to blend in as a pumpkin.

Oogie boogie looking suitably terrifying!

Cheshire Cat :) 

Welcome To

I thought I'd upload another piece of writing, this time it's a couple of chapters from something I started writing over a year ago (and have since decided to abandon the idea.) I was reading a lot of Chuck Palahniuk at the time, and I'm pretty sure it shows. Anyway, there's a couple of lines that still amuse me so I can't bring myself to delete the file completely. (I haven't included the prologue or the other 4ish chapters)

p.s warning: strong language etc etc
p.p.s I'm really not this cynical in real life. honest. 

The Light/ Memories of a Time

I'm trying to break out of writer's block, so this is pretty much the first thing I've sat down and finished writing in months. 

It's not brilliant, probably not even 'good,' but it exists, and for now that keeps me happy because I feel lost when I can't write. 

Yet to decide on a title so uhm, yes. 

Comments would be appreciated :) 

We were infinite.

For those of you who know me, you'll now that I'm a fan of 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower.' 

As someone who loves the book, I was dubious about going to see the new movie; starring Logan Lerman, Ezra Miller and Emma Watson. 

My expectations (and emotional investment!) into this movie were very high, to say the least. So, I kind of predicted that I wouldn't like it, at all. 

How wrong was I.

As with all book adaptations, it's pretty impossible to include everything that's within the book. That's more than okay with me. What this movie did manage to (and I would assume this is due to Stephen Chbosky's directing,) is keep the heart of the book.
I know, I know, that's incredibly cheesy. But if you've read the book, you'll know why this is vital.

I don't want to give away anything about the book or the movie, just for those who have been hiding in a cave.
To put it simply, it's a coming of age, american high school story. Sounds unoriginal, right? It's so much more than that. You become attached to the characters and you become the characters themselves because everything they say and feel, you recognise it all. (By you, I mean I, but also maybe you.) This is applicable for both the book and movie.

I'll be honest, I'm probably biased. I was too emotionally invested in the book, and so the same is true for the movie. I sat crying for about 70% of the movie. It's both heart breaking and hilarious, and that's what makes it so realistic.
I dragged my friend along who hadn't read the book and only knew of it through me, and she was also a bit of an emotional mess whilst watching it.
There may be many things wrong with this movie, from cinematographic point of view, but I can forgive all that. It takes something special to invoke such emotion.

If you haven't come across 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower' yet, run out and get the book. It's not that long, I promise. Go out and see the movie if that's more your thing, I am in love with both of them.
I get so excited when I remember how much I love something, and the reasons why I became so attached to the story.
Even if you love something for quotability factor, this is the book for you. I'm a sucker for a good quote, and this is full of them!

On a side note;
As a massive Harry Potter fan...I've really never been that much of an Emma Watson fan. This is probably more due to the fact that she got to play Hermione and I didn't, and therefore she knows J.K Rowling and I don't. Some of us just draw the short straw in life ;) However, all of that was forgotten in this movie. Emma was amazing. I can't really comment on the American accent all that accurately, but it sounded 'right' to me, and as far as the character of Sam is concerned, I empathised so much with her. I can't really say I felt this when reading the book, or just not as strongly as I do now I've seen the movie, but Emma just added an extra something.
Ezra Miller was amazing. AMAZING!
And Logan was the perfect Charlie.

"We accept the love we think we deserve."

The Pursuit of Being

You caught me lingering in another girl's paradise...

Sights and sounds pull me back down another year, 

I was here. 

      I was here. 

I may be alone in this, but I always find September a particularly horrible month. It leaves me in an inexplicable state of nostalgia, sorrow and wistfulness. This has been the case for about 8 years now, and as such I always seem to find myself leaning towards the same things to make me feel a little better.
A prime example of this (finally getting to the point of this post,) is Tori Amos. 

Well, I say that she makes me feel better, but in fact her music reminds me of times when I've felt this way even more so. Somehow, that seems to act as a comfort. The mind works in mysterious ways...
I decided it was about time I made a Tori Amos appreciation post, because sometimes I need to remind myself of just how much I freakin' love her!
Growing up, I had heard a couple of her songs on the radio; however it wasn't until I was 12/13 that I realised it was her, as it took the wonderful invention of the internet to lead me down the path of all things Tori.
So, Tori has been with me for almost half of my life and her place in it is very much cemented.
(We also have Tori to thank for the name of this blog! Scroll down to the videos below to take a listen to 'Another Girl's Paradise') 

I've had the privilege of seeing Tori live twice, and meeting her. (I'd show you a photo...but it's really zoomed in on my face and I was blinking. Great photo taking skills, mum!) Needless to say, after this I was an emotional mess and ran off to cry. During both shows, I was just in a state of pure admiration. Every part of me was captivated as the essence of her music cloaked around everybody in the room. They were truly beautiful evenings that I will never forget.

Tori isn't everybody's cuppa tea, this is something I've had to learn to accept. Of course, I am biased and only see Tori as a hugely talented musician. There are no words to explain the way Tori and music just seem to go hand-in-hand, like it's completely meant to be and piano is just a part of her being; her voice and poetic lyrics are an added bonus. Yet she is wonderfully quirky and this is one of the many reasons why I respect her, and one of the reasons many seem to think her music is, well, shit. (It pains me to even write Tori and shit as part of the same concept.) 

If you've stuck with me through all of my rambles, congratulations, there was a point to this! I would like to share with you some of my favourite Tori Amos songs in the hope that someone else out there will appreciate them just         as much as I do!

Let me know if you're already a fan, or if you like what you just listened to...or if you have any music suggestions for me. Or just to say HI! :)

21st Century Girl

This is something I wrote a year or so ago, but I thought I'd post it here.
Let me know if you think I should do more posts like this, coz I kinda like getting on my soap box every now and again ;)

I sit and drink pennyroyal tea, distill the life that's inside of me.

I do have some substantial (hopefully) blog posts in mind, it's just finding the time to sit down and focus. The past couple of weeks have been hectic and I can't see the next few being any less so. Freshers week starts next weekend, so I'm trying to prepare myself for 2nd year of Uni. Eep :/

In the mean time, just so you can see I'm really trying not to neglect this poor blog, have a random mixture of songs that have pulled me through this week. (The temptation to launch myself down the concrete set of stairs has been overwhelming, I managed to resist the urge. Obviously.)

Spandau Ballet- Gold

The Cure- Lullaby

The Chemical Brothers- Hey Boy Hey Girl

Oh Land- White Nights (live)

Bullet For My Valentine- Tears Don't Fall

Tori Amos- Taxi Ride

Portishead- Glory Box

Clubroot- Birth Interlude

Nirvana- Pennyroyal Tea

Yep, I've seriously put Spandau Ballet on the same list as Nirvana. 

It's just been that kind of week. 

How have your weeks been?
As always, I'm always looking for suggestions as to what I can do to improve this blog etc...hit me with it! :)

THIS IS ME

I love Daily Grace. 

Childhood nostalgia

These are all things that remind me of my childhood...and the 90s in general!

When I look at this, I realise there's a sort of theme that's carried through into my 20's... magic, mystery, darkness. Oh, and a bit of British humour ;) (SMTV Live anybody?!)

It seems a bit weird for me throw Slipknot into the mix, but growing up they were my brother's favourite band. I used to laugh at him for listened to them, funny because now I love them and he's not all that keen!

Shakespears Sister- Stay. Instant tearjerker. Same for Madonna-Frozen! 

And obviously, what kind of 90s kid would I be if Philosopher's stone wasn't on the list! It makes me sad that my big sister lost my book that I'd had since the age of 5! 

These are definitely things that shaped me whilst growing up, and they still hold a special place in my heart! 

Now there's nothing but time that's wasted...

and words that have no backbone.

The Glass Child

The Glass Child

There's really no point in me writing a lot about The Glass Child...her music speaks for herself, very strongly! 

If you like music that is all heart, talent and passion then you will love this. 

I can't remember how I first heard of Charlotte, aka The Glass Child, I'm sure it was probably by rummaging through the depths of the internet; and for that I would like to give myself a pat on the back. It really has been so refreshing to listen to music that really is all about the music, with no sense of ego involved. 

Charlotte frequently updates her youtube channel just to keep her fans updated with what she's been working on, and this is just one way in which she shows her appreciation of those who have supported her. 

If you follow her on twitter or tumblr, you would soon know how important keeping in touch with her fans is and how much she genuinely seems to care about them. It's very refreshing, and I imagine very time consuming, but she does it nonetheless. 

You can purchase her CDs here or have a sneaky listen of previews via itunes, and y'know, buy something there ;)

I can't end this without leaving a few of my favourites, so here we go!